Thursday Tips #2 by Kajal Makwana


Kajal Makwana is a counselling psychologist, psychotherapist, queer affirmative therapist, mental health first aid trainer and graphologist by profession. She has completed M.A in psychology (counselling). She is currently working in Accenture and other private practices. She is the founder of ‘The Giraffe Space – truly your space’. She is also the founding member of Volunteer For India, a non-profit organisation. She is the council member of WICCI (Women’s Indian Chamber of Commerce and Industry).

Competitiveness is prevalent in every field and industry, even the healthcare industry. It can give rise to jealousy, a basic human emotion that leaves no one untouched. Even if you are successful, you may still feel jealous at some point in your life. Feeling jealous is not bad, emotions are never bad. However, it is crucial to channelise those emotions in the correct way. Controlling or suppressing your emotions and feelings is not helpful. Hence, dealing with them in the right manner becomes crucial.

Kajal has shared her tips on the same!

  • Be aware of yourself

In today’s competitive world, it is easy to get influenced. To be at par with what others are doing, you may end up doing things that may not be of your liking or forte. In this way, you forget what you truly want from yourself and your career. Ultimately, it can manifest into anger and other emotions. So, to be aware, you can ask wh-questions to yourself once in a while. What am I doing? Why am I doing it? Am I enjoying it? Your answers will help you understand if you are jealous of anybody and the reasons behind them.

  • Accept your feelings, accept every person

Before you move on to finding solutions for your feelings, first accept them. Secondly, you may find yourself having animosity towards the people you are jealous of. Accept them, too. Accept the fact that everyone can coexist.

  • Attend to yourself

When you are jealous of somebody, your attention is always on that person. It occupies a lot of your mental space, completely draining you. It leaves little time to focus on yourself and your needs. So, the tip is to shift that attention from the other person towards yourself. As soon as you do that, it frees up space in your mind and allows you to focus on your goals.

  • Focus on things under your control

Imagine two circles – one big and one small. The big circle comprises things beyond your control, whereas the smaller inner circle comprises those under your control. What other people do is beyond your control. But, jealousy and channelling those feelings into something productive instead of destructive is under your control. If you want something others have, spend your energy and time working towards it.

  • Convert jealousy into motivation

To get yourself out of the feelings of jealousy, you need to convert them into motivation. Redefine your goals if need be and start working on yourself. Instead of feeling envious, feel inspired. Instead of being angry and talking ill about those people, appreciate their hard work and efforts. You will automatically feel a shift in your feelings from jealousy to motivation.

  • Cherish yourself

Lastly, always remember that you are not here to be like someone else. You are an individual with your own identity, strengths and successes – cherish and appreciate that!

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